Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged

Customer service; what’s it for, what does it mean, does it, in fact, exist? Certainly not at H Samuel and/or Ronson, nor at Comet and/or Apple. Took a cigarette lighter back to Samuel’s around the end of February or beginning of March and after explaining the basics of consumer law to the aloof and uncommunicative 20 year old assistant, i.e. that I was not the one who needed to return it to Ronson, they were, I was told it would take over 6 weeks to get it back. Now I know that as a smoker in this day and age, I can expect to be treated like a pariah, but 6 weeks?! I finally got it back yesterday, not repaired but a new one, no complaints about that but surely the timeframe ought to be somewhat less when it’s not a repair but a simple replacement?
And now to Comet/Apple. I don’t really have much idea where the blame lies here, my iPod went back to Comet about the same time as the lighter and they indicated about 14 days turnaround, after three weeks I went and queried progress and was told that they didn’t know anything about how it was getting on but would ring Apple the following Monday and get back to me. Did this happen? Just one guess allowed here. Congratulations, you win; no, of course it didn’t. Went back a bit over a week later, promised another call. This one did eventually happen and I was informed that Apple had told Comet that it was out of warranty?! I think they mean that the little chip that goes in iPods and blows them up after 13 months had gone off prematurely. We are now getting into the realms of conjecture, Comet claim to have told Apple that it was in warranty and JFDI and I heard nothing more until I went up there again this week to see what’s what. And lo, my iPod was back and in exactly the same condition as that when I handed it in. Comet insists it was sent off, Apple say they’ve never seen it but one way or another it was back with Comet but it’s condition unchanged. Who are you to believe? Given my disposition I choose to believe that they are all a bunch of useless tossers, but whilst they are in possession of my iPod I haven’t told them this in quite these terms. Though I came very close when, after the Comet woman had been on the phone to Apple for about 30 minutes (no exaggeration there) some twat on the other end of the phone decided to talk to me to suggest I take it away again and go through the troubleshooting process. I explained, in a calm and rational manner, that snowmen would be frolicking in Hades first and after another 15 minutes or so pick up was arranged for it to go off to Apple, again or for the first time depending who you choose to believe. So I have been given yet another dubious 14 day timescale for it’s return. Somehow I think this may be on the optimistic side for one very good reason; when it first stopped working it was well within warranty, however, the warranty expired at 10.08 a.m. on the day I took it back in. Do you think this may cause a little rumpus?

Back in the world of real sport, this might be just about the best time of the year. The baseball season is well under way and most of the rust is just about shaken off and we can start to see what’s what, Moto GP and WSB have a few races under their collective belts and the delayed start to the Bennett’s British Superbike season kicks off at Thruxton this weekend, absence of blizzard permitting. And if that’s not enough the bikes are at Le Mans for the first endurance World Championship round. There’s plenty of other stuff going on, Snooker World Championship starts today, the interminable football season still rolls on, 20/Twenty cricket in the IPL is kicking up the dust in the established cricket hierarchy and talking of dust, the old goats at the RFU are seemingly very busy trying to retrieve a little dignity after the shoddy way they gave Ashton the shaft. But, head and shoulders above all these, are the Stanley Cup playoffs. If you think that the players are committed to the prospect of having their names inscribed on Lord Stanley’s Cup during the regular season, you should see it now! The only disappointing match up is over already with the sorry Ottawa Senators contemplating a summer where they need new coaches and new ideas, they looked like the closest I’ve seen to a playoff team mailing it in. Pittsburgh are a good team, but still lacking in playoff experience with key players and Ottawa looked to have gone out there without any semblance of a game plan. I’m a bit behind on exactly where we are today, I’ve got about half a dozen games still to watch, Sky+ permitting, so the Stars may have rolled over the Ducks by now, but I hope not as the games I’ve watched so far have been exemplary as was the single game of the Sharks/Flames that I’ve seen so far. The Red Wings continue to mystify, as they do so often when they win the Presidents Cup, taking OT and about 60 shots to get just two behind Dan Ellis. This is raw, passionate and committed sport with fans to match but come on guys, with all the testosterone flowing the playoff beards should be making a much better showing by now, even if it is the first round.

Despite my earlier disillusionment with Barry Zito he was clearly the talisman that was keeping me in 10th place last week. I’m now 14th and last! But I’m still not having Zito back although he is still available. Didn’t get a start out of Wellemayer, picked him up for what I thought was his start on Sunday, which was the first day I could get him in the lineup, but he went on Saturday, thanks Yahoo. Didn’t miss out on too much, think it was a no decision with OKish WHIP & ERA, much the same as Kyle Loshe, who I did pick up for a start. Gone for yet another St Louis starter for a spot start this weekend, Braden Looper, picking on the Giants again, for his start tomorrow. Also grabbed Yankee’s reliever Brian Bruney to add to Heath Bell and Jonathon Broxton, which is about as strong a middle relief corps as there is in the league but no one is getting me any vulture wins or saves. Gagne came up with a couple of saves and he has given me all four saves I have but still leaves me dead last in the category. Batting average is the other category that stinks with only Utley giving draft round value at .313 and Giambi and Thomas both sub .200 and little by way of power. Just as I was last week I’m so looking forward to the return of Curtis Granderson, he’s out on a rehab assignment, first at Low A yesterday or today and then a AAA game over the weekend and expected, assuming all goes well, to be back in a Tigers line-up, that is showing signs of life, sometime next week.
The strategy for the coming week will be to see how Granderson gets on before going to town on the batting average issue, more pitch and ditch, using Kennedy’s spot as well as the spot vacated by Zito and keep fingers crossed for some useful counting numbers dropping into my lap from the relievers.